My wife is on her way to a bachelorette party, and is gleeful of the fact that she is bringing “spinach dip boob bread bowls” to go along with the penis cake. She said she couldn’t think of anything else to bring that’s sexual. Here’s some ideas:
1. Condom full of blueberries
2. Man-aise
3. Hamburger meat curtain
4. We wear short shortcakes
5. Three-Way chili
6. Donkey Punch
7. Melons
8. Tossed Salad
9. PB & BJ
10. Gonorrhea pumpkin pie
–>
1. Garage Sale
2. Recycle
3. Make a crudely designed robot that doesn’t actually do anything
4. Sell it on Ebay
5. Use it to snuff out the Black Eyed Peas
6. Donate to Goodwill
7. Give it out as Halloween treats
8. Golf
9. Write a blog about it –>
1. Un-retirement
2. Diaper Dandy
3. Steroids
4. “I didn’t take steroids”
5. Cinderella
6. Boo-Yeah
7. Joey Harrington –>
Dear Voter,
Why do we have a two-party political system? The very idea that there is only two answers to any of our country’s problems is preposterous. How can one group of people have all the right answers, and another group be wrong, regardless of the topic up for debate. There has to be some middle ground, where people can work together and improve our current situation.
I’ve spent some time recently listening to the extremists of both the left and right wings on the radio. Can what they say really be how they feel? Can they really think that their views are so right and so pure that anyone who disagrees with them is completely illogical? My personal opinion is that they are more concerned with listeners and sponsorships than they are concerned about the well being of our country. Compromise and coalition building might make sense, but it doesn’t fill advertising slots.
A wise man once said, “The wisest man hears all other man’s opinions, and accepts none of them as truth. Rather, he hears all other man’s opinions to formulate his own.” - Jeff Poest
I urge you to challenge the validity of anyone who suggests they know better than the man next to him. I urge you to get informed about the topics that are important to you. I urge you to ignore the ads, the slogans, the promises. I urge you to reflect back on the last term, and decide for yourself, truly for yourself, if the person in office has spoken for you. If not, vote for someone else. –>
I bought a book teaching the Evelyn Wood speed reading technique. I’ve been doing a lot of reading lately between proofreading marketing materials, trying to become a better manager, and pursuing an MBA. All I know is, if I were you, I would have finished reading this blog seconds ago. –>
South Dakota grabbed the keys, and jumped into the DeLorean of freedom, set the dial to 1973, and hit the gas. They arrived just in time to see Eli Whitney reveal his newest invention; the cotton gin. Damn, set the dial wrong, we’re in 1793. Let’s try again, 1973 here we come…
Courtesy of The New York Times:
The governor of South Dakota, Mike Rounds, signed today a bill intended to ban most abortions in the state and to set up a challenge to the United States Supreme Court decision, handed down in 1973, that legalized abortion in all states.
The law would make it a crime for doctors to perform an abortion unless it was necessary to save the woman’s life, with no exception for cases of rape or incest.
“That challenge will likely take years to be settled and it may ultimately be decided by the United States Supreme Court,” Governor Rounds said in a statement posted on the state’s Web site. “Our existing laws regulating abortions will remain in effect.”
The South Dakota law is in the forefront of an effort by abortion opponents to test whether a more conservative Supreme Court will reconsider, and possibly reverse, the Roe decision.
Wow, that didn’t take long. I thought American’s would never have to go back to using coat hangers to make a decision about their future.
To me, Jon Stewart is one of the funniest men on the planet. So I decided to tune into the Oscars thinking it may not be the usually mind-numbing, terribly scripted banter. It was. Even Jon Stewart couldn’t save it. The Academy Awards are like Kryptonite to funny. –>